Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Vegetarian Chicken

There are two people(yet to discover a few more) in the whole wide world ,that are capable of making me use the word 'life sucks'. One, yeah you guessed it right, its the dude at NIC. As its been a while since Ive met him, lifes cool. But guess what, hes got some serious competition. Hmm...who is that. Guess ? let me help you out. He is the one who uses vegeterian toothpaste,veg computer,veg shoes,veg papers,veg desk,veg programs, man, he is so particular about 'stuff around'. There you are, for the time being lets call him a veg dude (Suggestions are welcome). He is an obvious culprit in making my life miserable for the past two days. Wonder why he is so obsessed with letters for everything. Man I gotta tell you this, I wont be surprised to see him asking people to give him a request letter just to pick up a pen on the floor, with a signature of his choice.
Events where I had a privilage of using the sentence 'life sucks':
Time: 10:30 +20 seconds or something
Date: yesterday(check the calender if you are particular about date)
Location: da college
Seriously, I thought I saw some kind of weird creature from alienland running away from the lab that I was supposed to take my exam. I entered the lab just to check everything is OK in the lab and realized that the alien creature is better known to us as veg dude. The exam has just started and I decided to wait for the veg dude to come back to give me my question paper. Dude came back after a while, but Surprise, dude wants me to get out of his face cos Im late. But hey, I have an option, I can take the test tomorrow only if I get a permission letter from the principal. Principal??yeah principal. What the heck is this, he wants me to get a letter from the principal to postpone my exam, and there..(I stress this point) at this very point I had a real good reason to use the word 'life sucks'.
Since principal was not available, I went back to veg dude again, to do some arguing thing, I really hate doing it with a ::beep:: like him though, I had no choice. Finally he suggestedto get a letter from the Incharge HOD. Now I went upstairs to get my letter signed by her and gave it to the veg dude. I suspect he has a serious crush on her, lets see, he suggested particularily to get her signature, and guess what ,you should see the glow in his face while seeing that signature. So its an obvious conclusion. Sorry about her.
Thats it, I have a lab tomorrow, I durrred back to kishens house to do some combined study.

Time: 10:00 + 5 minutes or something
Date: today
Location: da same college
This time havent seen him running away but he wasnt there in the lab and the exam has started already. It was the same way that happened yesterday. All the pain I went through to get the letter yesterday flashed in front of me. It aint any different now, besides I have got company (all of us are late to the lab). And there..(Here I stress again) 'life sucks'.
But fortunately, question papers are available in the lab. Fianlly, I got my hands on the most awaited VC test. Since we did some study yesterday(happens once in a million combined studies) the test wasnt so difficult. I enjoyed the fun of programming until I was called for viva. Dude wants our records to be unique from each others'. And my record , its definitely unique, there is no way one can make a record like mine. Procedure is hand written and outputs are printed(xerox copies to be frank) and there is no way the my procedures give such outputs. The procedure says that it is printing a string.But the output shows rectangles and ellipses.Whatever,thats more than enough for what we have been taught.Coming back to viva..Dude asked me just one question, what are the functions of CDocument...you must be expecting that I'd used that word at this point..hmm..bad shot, not now.Lets continue,
me:hmm..document files are usually used for storing attributes, we have constructor and destructor.(I dont know the answer as such but I tried)
dude: you see, you have to study hard for the external,the answer you told is wrong.
me:so whats the answer sir.
dude: that I cannot tell, go and ask your friends.
me:???
Thats it. my viva was over. And there ..(here I stress real hard cos this is the final time) 'life sucks man'.

diclaimer:
@Principal
I apologize for anything that might have hurt your feelings but I really feel you should appoint a personal dress assistant and please avoid neckties from circus.

@Incharge HOD
You are one of the good lecturers we have in our college and i really appreciate your effort in helping people earning their FYPs.But be careful with the veg dude.

@veg dude
you gotta pay dude ..someday.

@all of us
Thanks for helping me learn VC one way or the other offlate.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Unfortunately.. evil died too

Finally I got MC assignment completed today. I did it while watching evildead2. evildead2??? yeah its evildead2. I still remember when I was in 3rd or 4th, I was so scared of that movie poster, I used to try really hard not to look at it.But now, I feel its the most idiotic movie I have even seen. The story is simple, a dude and a babe goes on a vacation to 'da house', babe turns to ghost..dude kills her, dude's righthand turns ghost..dude rips it off, four more joins him..turns to ghosts at equal intervals of time..dude, obviously kills 'em all. And hey no there is a twist, the twist is so powerful..believe me..I had to turn my TV set back into position. Some big 'ole pipe sucks the dude and drops him into some kinda weird kingdom..yeah a kingdom! The ghosts in da house looks like some irregularily grated carrots (Im really really bad at comparisions). Surprisingly there is one such a carrot here in this god damn kingdom.This thing knows how to fly too. Our dude kills it with one shot and the people in the kingdom starts worshipping him. No wonder if you find spelling mistakes like splitworks for networks..cutter for cluster..chainsaw for cellular..in my MC assignment. I forgot, there are also a momma carrot and a papa carrot down under in 'da house', to be exact, in 'da basement'. Both carrots ..hmm..uh..looks like carrots..ya..thats what. There is nothing more about them. They occasionally comes out of the basement, tries to scare the shit out of everyone in da house, gets beat up and gets back into da basement. I really hate that papa carrot, he is responsible for this god damn dancing tress, killer branches, sucking pipes and weird kingdoms.
Now Im really waiting to see evil dead part 1, and part 3(if its there), cos, personnally Im a big fan of comedy movies.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Chinese hunger

Thank god Im home before 12. Now I can post todays entry. yesterday, by the time I started compiling an entry, it was already today (half past 12), so I had to retreat from that idea.I am not even sure if I can complete this before 12, i.e., today.
All the preparation we been doing for the presentation needs two more days to prove its worth. Even maanas's and phani's project presentations were postponed and we got to know that after going to college. So maanas started his good old thing he always do. He works everyday at office and whenever he gets a leave ,he tries to do all things the same day. Movie, lunch, cricket, ..he wants to do everything, the same day. But thank god again, he settled down with only food today. And Phani.., who's birthday treats due, decided to pay it back today. And surprisingly, while playing cricket this evening, he took wickets, he hit he ball(no runs yet), and most of all he is fielding. I thought there is some kind of weird connection b/w his cricket and his treat. whatever that may be..lets talk about food now. He said its nanking, a new place this time for dinner. Me , I was confused, is it manking or ranking or I even thought that might be mankind, then I realized that I shouldnt be worried of what place is it and started thinking of the food.
Phani is again in that inquire within tee, it reminds me of characters like ernest,terminator..etc, who wears the same dress through out the movie. Me .., i am not that surprised, but security at microsoft, I bet they must be suprised to see phani in the same tee everytime he goes there.
But hey, wonder why Im talking about phani, ..come on, he provided a damn good food just a while ago. So I had to talk about him(unfotunately!).Its good to see most of us together after a really long time, 13 of us, on the same table. Just reminds me of the last supper. Hey how about this, what if its 'the last supper', since phani was sitting in the centre, he must be jesus. But who is Judas here? the one who betrays phani. Forget it ,Im feeling sleepy. The bad thing about phani's lunch or dinner is that it will put you to sleep for a minimum of 5 days. i still remember, we had lunch at phani's house during 3rd year, went asleep and woke up after 5 days literally.
Thanks phani(not god this time), for giving me a chinese treat, man.. I have been feeling chinese hunger for the past couple of weeks.

Monday, March 20, 2006

The dude-babe thing

Booooring for few days, then I come up with a really long blog, you read it and then I go idle for a while, booring again..though this is how my blogging has been going on, Now that i have decided to post more often, this aint gonna be the same.
It started the sameway with stimulate, I dont know why, but for the past two weeks I been starting my day with that song. Then I ponder on punk rock numbers such as perfect, losing grip, school of rock OSTs, and kryptonite. Then I thought about whats in for me today. Working for six hours(2 to 8 plus few really long breaks) on our presentation yesterday, we realized there is lot more to do. So I reached shravans house by 10 and found him to be totally asleep.

Whenever we come up with some plan, SARS comes up with new plan that completely ruins our plan. And he wanted to go to NIC today to get something called problem definition document. As we believe we need such a document for us too, our next pitstop..NIC.

The worst thing at NIC is that you always find that NIC dude at office. Wonder how this dude sticks to office all the time, sure he must be scared of his wife at home.
He always messes up with NIC babes out there in the office. I can vouch that this guy is capable of making your life miserable in just a few minutes just by talking to you. Lets talk about babes here, if there is someone who can be consired as 'working at NIC' ,then its them.
Though they are class C scientists(higher the better!), knows a bit of programming. But our dude, he is a class E scientist, knows how to break things up and fail fixing them. I still wonder how did I work for him for 40 days --8 hours a day ,
6 days a week.

As expected ,dude caught us as we entered ,did some 'what-n-whys', left us with the same impression as we always have on him --'this guy sucks ..man'.
Our babe(a.k.a our project external guide) is really sick of us both. cos we hardly been to office offlate. So we did some copying stuff from the system without being noticed by her. SARS and ravi were busy with their babe while dude caught up with our babe again. Man..they fight like a typical wife and husband. Dude says oracle, babe says why oracle when MSAccess is working.., dude says something about java beans, babe says what do you know about beans.., dude says why is this ending up with an error..babe says shut your mouth and let me do my work, dude mumbles something and gets him out of there. Believe me it happens everyday in there.


I pondered over my presentation the whole day only to add up 5 more slides making up the total number of slides to be 15. Life sucks when you have to add some more things, and there is nothing available.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Explore without a right click!!

Looks like we are adapting the corporate culture these days, partying or something similar to that during week ends. The only difference between us and the actual corporate guys is that they come down to city to spend their weekends ,we go to corporate campuses (namely MS) to spend our weekends. Though we did not plan in advance, past two weekends happened to be spent at MS. This saturday was even worse, we spent the whole night exploring MS.

There are two big reasons for us to go for it. One, You dont have to worry about food and refreshments. Two, clean wide traffic-free roads all the way to MS, that offers us smooth drive throughout.

Kunal just goes mad on these roads and so does harsh, and today aint no differenet. They scared the hell out of shravan and maanas who were on passenger seats respectively. Reaching 100kmph aint no joke, but since there was no traffic at all, its ok. And me..even if I try as hard as I can, my bike doesnt cross 75kmph, but its a cool ride indeed. Kishen and pavan makes sure that I wont miss the route. Phani missed out all the fun, he says he had some work at home but Im sure he didnt come cos he is incapable of staying awake.

Kunal has already decided to go home the next morning. We started off playing pool as soon as we enter the campus. Pavan taught us how to play 3-player pool, that was real fun. We conquered TT tables, pool tables,foosball tables, especially that foosball thing is real fun.

My dad called me up to check where am I. I told him its not to safe that I come home in the middle of the night ,so I will be coming the next morning. Pretty easy to convince my father, but not my mother, and this time I was lucky enough.

Maanas didnt believe us when we said that we are gonna stay til tomorrow, until shravan called up his home to say that he is coming tomorrow in front of him.And guess what this time maanas has gone mad, he wanted to go home, but he dont want to miss out the fun here with us. He was stuck in the middle of both. He started throwing balls all over the pool table, he went running downstairs, did something down there and came back giving his million dollar smile a.k.a the world's widest smile. And it was already 12 o clock in the night.

We grabbed a cup of noodles. I went and had a cup of tea, and tea is my only hope to make myself awake all the night.

Maanas , sure he is the most confusing fella, just an hour ago he was reluctant to stay here, now he is ready to play cricket at 2 o clock in the morning. He went and brought the kit. So we made the rules, only fours either side , no runs behind the stumps, stuff like that. I was playing for both sides, harsh maanas and kunal vs kishen shravan and pavan. Soon we realized the ball aint going anywhere, the out field is so thick and wet, it sucks down the momentum of the ball. So what did we do, since we cant change the outfield, we changed the rules. This time, runs on half side, and singles are allowed. This time it was a bit of fun but it wasnt any longer. Two of the cricket balls disappeared in the bushes. So we stopped playing cos, its better to stop playing than to have a third ball in the bush.

I had a cup of noodles again and went back to play pool with kunal. Kunal is new to pool, and so am I. I played for first time last week, 25th february. Before we played cricket, kunal won 2-1 against me. I should have won but I pocketed the black ball before clearance once, and in the last match my cue ball committed a suicide after pocketing the final ball.

After a while, we went down to see maanas-kishen vs harsh-shravan playing pool against each other. Maanas style of playing pool is unique, he calculates something and hits the ball so hard ,the cue actually rests after about 2-3 minutes. But I believe someday ,those balls will kick maanas for hitting em so hard. Kishen uses Yahoo! pool techniques here and realizes that computer games sucks after he misses the shot. Everthing is fine with shravan's play, except that his cue ball goes after his black ball, and they both commit suicide together in the same pocket. Love birds indeed.

And thats the end of our 'One night at Microsoft'.And you ..phani, dont slam your head to keyboard, there is always a next time.

Who are we?

The ultimate Microsoft(tm) explorers

Balancing them right

That was way too long back, when I had my own definition for a bike, it goes something like this,' A bike is nothing more than an autogear(sometimes called gearless) scooter, only thing is you have to do something with your left leg moments before you leave the rear brake(later on I found that its called clutch) and ride ahead.' There is a strong reason for me to define this way . I saw many people doing like that before going for a ride.

Later on ,one day my dad said he is looking forward to own a bike, before that we had a 7-10 year old LML vespa NV .Few days later we had a new pair of wheels at our home.It was the latest bike at that time, Bajaj Boxer .And let me remind you that I had the same definition for bikes, and on the top of it i didnt knew ,that you need to do that "something with left leg" (I mean gear shifting)again while riding because I couldnt see people doing that while riding.

Oh yeah, the great day ,thats when I had a chance to ride a bike for the first time.I got the keys, and started the engine..that was easy. But hey, I had my preparation for riding a bike beforehand. I remember those tips to ride a bike given by my friends.

tip-1: Some dude told me that to turn the fuel tab on,before starting the engine.

tip-2: Release the clutch slowly while raising the accelerater

Now its time to shift the gear, i did that "something with left leg", and it took a minute or two to actually start moving since there was a problem with timing the clutch.I went on about 400m around my house and then I felt like going to my friend's house thats about a 1km long. I drove responsibly ,I mean I drove at 20kmph, but the engine sounded so loud as if it was flying low. I reached my friends house ignoring the frightened people through out the way. When I was talking to him I again got that same funny feeling to go further. So we both, I was on my bike, he was on his kinetic honda started for another ride. During the ride, I heard him shouting out ,it wasnt clear ,I heard something like "gear...change...", though I wasnt sure but, I felt like doing that "something with left leg " again. I did it and I was surprised ,the engine sounded pleasant. I did it again ,this time engine was damn silent and I could move faster.It didnt take much time to realize that most of the bikes have four gears.

Later on , I rode few bikes, rather few kinds of bikes. But there is one bike thats worth a mention,its actually my uncle's bike, thats a Hero Honda CD100, 1995 model, The good thing about this bike is you have two ways of braking this bike ,the bad thing is both the ways are risky.

braking way-1: This was the unique braking system I have ever seen. The front brake is a virtual brake,i.e., there is a brake but there is no brake. And the rear brake its one in a million. This brake should be applied with a specific technique under the supervision of experts . For a normal bike you would pr0bably apply some pressure on the pedal using the front foot. But for this extraordinary braking system you will actually have to plant the brake.., Yes, plant the brake with your entire foot. Let me tell the procedure, if you want to slowdown, take your leg off the footrest ,raise it til the knee touches the handle and then BANG,plant the leg on the braking pedal and you think you'd stop, oh yeah, you have 1 in a million chance of stopping.

braking-way2: This is really simple, just follow the braking-way1-procedure, and choose a good tree or a curb, I bet you'd stop , as a matter of fact, your braking statistics would be (60-0kmph in a second),better than a disc brake ,isnt it?

One more bike thats worth a mention is Harsh's Yamaha Fazer, A million dollar question that you'd be asking yourself while riding is 'In which gear am I riding'.The only thing I can say about this bike is it has a magic gearbox.

Kishen's pulsar was good, you always have one more gear to shift on at anytime. Yeah, while riding, I thought I was in the topgear and shifted the gear to confirm , and hey,there is one more gear. Later I checked once again to confirm that the current gear is top or not, but what the heck.,theres one more gear.That was cool.It actually takes you to 80kmph without much effort.

And from the rest, shravan's splendour is mercedes by mileage and thats somewhat 'ride it anywhere' kinda bike ,coz once I saw him riding it on footpath., SARS's Passion has got a medium size handle(Never seen such an handle? me too!!) and no brakes, Jimmy's splendour+ is a '40kmph on the curbs' bike, Pavan's Fiero FX is not a bike, its a bomb on two wheels, Arun's Ambition has an Advanced Microprocessor Ignition(AMI) technology ,135cc engine, but the top speed til date is 20kmph, and unfortunately he hit a pulsar at that speed on 30th july,2005, and now he runs his 135cc bike at 8.21kmph average speed,and on the other hand.. Ramraj's Yamaha RS135 is a drunken monkey while Kiran's Passion loves hitting old women on roads.

Phani is planning to buy a gearless(its not autogear either) bike. Thats for obvious reasons, he failed in driving test just because the bike had gears,there is no wonder he doesnt want any gears for his bike.Though we tried to tell him that his plan sucks ,he says so am I.

And if you notice a set of 32 teeth ,riding any of the above mentioned bikes inside the college,going round and round the same path.,then 99.99% Maanas is the proud owner of them.Why does he go round and round about the same path? May be it gives some kind of funny feeling and, why does he keep laughing while riding?A million dollar question again!

Ravi, Kunal,Bhave are the trio that enjoys real fun of riding without even touching the handle bar.Among these Ravi becomes a part of bike chasis when he is in the passenger seat while kunal covers both the rear view mirrors at a time.

No matter which set of wheels you have ,just balance them right.